My One Word

On the way to work last Monday, I was listening to K-LOVE and heard a really interesting story concerning the Web site, myoneword.org. Later that day, I decided to check it out for myself. The concept is pretty simple; rather than make a whole bunch of New Year Resolutions that will inevitably fall through, you commit yourself to live out one word for an entire year. The idea is that it is much easier to focus on a single element at least once every day than to tackle five things every day for a year.

This idea really intrigued me. I decided to participate, but how on earth could I pick ONE word. Immediately, words like "love, peace and hope" came to mind. They are beautiful words, but they just didn't feel right for me this year. I decided to pray on it for a couple of days and see what I came up with. Two days later I was laying in bed, tossing and turning, when it finally came to me; the word that kept coming to my mind over and over again: PURSUE. 

The biggest fear in my life is failure. The thought of not being enough is paralyzing to me. Admittedly, there have been times where I've had opportunities that I chose not to pursue, because it was easier to not know or act than to try and risk failure. I have missed out on a lot because of this.

Not this year. 

Graduating college and moving on to the next phase of my life is going to present a lot of opportunities, a lot of room to succeed and a ton of room to fail. It is my goal for this year to pursue them all. 

I have chosen to live a year in constant pursuance. I want to pursue opportunities. I want to pursue friendships. I want to pursue the heart of God, because I know that He is in constant pursuance of me. 

Right now I am in a state of 'wanting'. I want a lot of things. However, wanting does not translate into action. It is a state of mind that leaves you standing in the same place for as long as you are willing to stand there. However, I believe that we are not made to sit still. We are created to move, to follow, to pursue.

Just like in a dating relationship, when a man pursues the heart of his beloved, he is thoughtful, intentional and filled with purpose. He risks his pride and his heart, because succeeding will change his life forever. It is my hope to pursue life with this same fervency. 

I am looking forward to the challenge that my one word presents, one day at a time. 

Taylor

***If you chose ONE word for your year, what would it be and why? 

Planner.

Since high school, I have been a habitual list maker. Next to the Bible, the most important book in my life is my planner. And since high school, I have kept every planner I have ever owned. It sounds silly, but it's a day to day account of my life for the past 8 years. That's got to count for something, right?

Within their pages, there are a lot of additions and subtractions, erase smudges and highlights. It's messy. It's shorthand. It's life. And it continually amazes me at how I seem to fly through the pages, gaining speed with each passing year.

Thanksgiving seemed like two days ago, and tonight I find myself ringing in a brand new year. So much time has gone by and so much life has been packed into two very short months, let alone this entire year. 

The last year has been filled with so many wonderful blessings: Best friend's wedding, SB in NYC, Celebrated a year w/ my sweetheart, Saw MB in Tulsa, A week in paradise with my family, My last rush, Start of SR year, Thanksgiving, Finishing Capstone, Christmas, and now New Years... 

This year hasn't been without its hardships too. I think this has been one of the most spiritually challenging times I have ever been through, but I have faith that it will be brought full circle and that the valleys, just like the mountains, are all for the infinite glory of our Heavenly Father. 

Today, I bought a new planner. The pages are clean, crisp and blank; itching to be scribbled on with the next year's plans, goals and dreams. But that's all they are, just my plans. They are drawn up with the best intentions. But it is my ultimate goal this year, to scrap my planner (figuratively speaking) and follow, with reckless abandon, after the heart of God; to seek His plans for my life above my own. I want to hand over my pen, daily, to the Author of Perfection. 

It is my hope this next year to love deeper than I've ever loved; to seek, more earnestly than ever before, the privilege of be of being created in the image of the ultimate Creator; and, at the end of each day, to rest my head knowing that I exhausted every effort to live fully. 

I hope 2011 brings you more joy than you've ever experienced. 

Taylor 

Thankful

For all that You've done, I will thank You

For all that You're going to do 

For all that You've promised and all that You are

Is that all that has carried me through

Jesus, I thank You 

From last Thanksgiving to now, life has been very full. There have been times when it has been full of the good things: family, friends, love, laughter, strength, music, dancing, goodness and peace. There have been times when life has been full of the not-so-good things: heartache, brokenness, loneliness, sorrow, weakness, exhaustion, frustration, chaos and silence.

Life is a process of ebbs and flows. It seems like we just started fall, and winter is on its way. We've barely begun to appreciate all that has happened in a year, and it's time to ring in a new one. Sometimes it's hard to keep up.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the family and friends who cheer us on and lift us up during the good times, weep and pray with us in the bad, and walk with us through every change and transition.

But above all else, I am thankful for a God who never changes. When the rest of the world has moved on, He sees me. In a world that is constantly in motion, moving from one thing to the next, I am able to cling to a rock of salvation and truth. How blessed I am, indeed!

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18

Taylor

TTF

Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things.   Phil 4:8

This past weekend my sorority celebrated 100 years of heritage on the University of Oklahoma's campus. There has been a lot of build up to our Centennial Gala, an all day event at the Embassy Suites, and the day definitely lived up to the hype. I spent the morning with 750 Pi Phi's and shared a special conversation with a woman who was from the pledge class of 1941! My heart melted as she grabbed my hands and expressed  her absolute joy at our active members- 254 strong. This was a far cry from her memories of 20-something girls with whom she shared her college days. 

After listening to her recount the best of her college memories, my initial thought was that sorority life to her generation was so much more than date parties, formal meals and chapter. It was her honor; it was her legacy; it was the definition of sisterhood, and it was beautiful. For the rest of the day, I thought about my own sorority experience. Had my college days lived up to her enchanting soliloquy? I attempted to wrap my mind around all that I had said and done in the last four years of my life. 

That night, 4 of my best friends and myself sat around a dinner table and laughed at past memories: U-Sing, volleyball ever Thursday night, Couch 12, sneaking into the Sig Ep Fraternity house to rescue a goldfish, countless date parties, football weekends, Scandals... the laughter, the tears and the sweetest memories that I have held very close to my heart. As we made our way to the dance floor, our heads filled with music, we laughed jumped, swayed, twirled and posed for pictures. I realized, that like my sister from 1941, I too, have met women who have changed my life for the better. We are miles from where we started four years ago and we have become more of who we are meant to be; each one of us refining the other. 

Although I may not have realized it at first, God had an incredible plan that began on Bid Day four years ago... I am forever thankful and forever a Pi Beta Phi. :) 

Taylor 

Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer...

You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy! Psalm 30:11

All my life, I have wanted to dance.

Actually, 'want' is a understatement. I have longed to dance. I'm actually lame enough to admit that while watching SYTYCD, my muscles twitch with yearning. I watch with envy, my body silently wishing it could do the same. The idea of a thought, feeling or even just music, moving someone so deeply internally that it becomes an outward expression of beautiful movement is fascinating to me. 

Recently, I have been reading 'When Wallflowers Dance' by Angela Thomas. If any woman hasn't read this book, I highly recommend it. She is also the author of 'Do You Think I'm Beautiful?', another life-changing read. In this book, Angela addresses how as little girls, we unashamedly twirled around in frilly skirts knowing we were worth partnering. Somehow, over the years, that innocence and confidence is torn away from us and we wind up sitting in the bleachers, wishing we could muster up the courage to twirl again. In the midst of our wallflower invisibility, our Savior sees us from across the room. He locks eyes with us and makes His way toward us, never dropping His gaze. He gracefully lifts us to our feet and affectionately places His hand in ours, giving us the strength to dance again. 

It made me realize how much of my internal longing for a dance with my Savior reflected my outward need to move my feet. I think it is safe to say that dancing is truly a desire of my heart, and God is always faithful in giving His children the desires of their hearts. God definitely works in mysterious ways and his humor is truly impeccable. I smile, knowing that God delights in the joy He brings me just as I delight in Him. 

Last Monday I was approached by my ballroom instructor and was asked if I ever considered learning to professionally dance and teach it. (Yeah, right). Little did this man know, he was speaking directly to one of the most hidden parts of my soul. I said, I had never considered it but the opportunity to try would be fantastic. (Trying to conceal my heart's resounding "YEEEEEEEES!!!!") So, I interviewed yesterday and as of tomorrow I will be training to be a ballroom dancer/instructor! 

Although to most, this is probably the most ridiculous of ambitions and maybe I'm silly for running in the direction of absolutely nothing I've ever studied for; but I believe that this is truly an orchestrated opportunity and I never turn down an offer to dance. : )

Taylor

"It's Time!"

"It's Time!!"

Time to unpack my "winter clothes" box that has been hibernating for the past 8 months; to take evening walks outside with no particular destination; Time to lose our weekends in the name of football; to snuggle up really close and pile blankets on the hammock. Time to purchase smittens.

Time for women everywhere to become domestic goddesses and bake; to hear a fire crackling in the hearth. Time to talk for hours over a cup of coffee; to hold hands everywhere you go. It's time for the trees to change as if to remind us that even the best things only last for a little while.

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven." -Ecclesiastes 3:1

It's a time to come together, to give thanks and rejoice; to be reminded of just how rich in blessings we truly are. Time to join together, and celebrate God's incredible design. He is a Lord of purpose, order and of seasons.

"From the autumn leaves that will ride the breeze; to the faith it takes to pray and sing... He is God of all, He is everything. Oh, let the praises ring, He is everything!"

I hope that you and I take time this soon-to-be chilly season to be a smitten, a cup of coffee or an evening walk to someone who needs it.

Taylor

Stories...

This post, hopefully the first of many, marks the end of one story and the beginning of another...

As I begin my Senior year of college, I have come to the bittersweet realization that no matter how much I want this incredible journey to continue for the rest of my life, my college days are coming to an end. As I think back over the last four years, I remember and I smile... 

I moved away from home and into a dorm room. I joined a house that later became my home. I made friendships that have encouraged me and filled me up with a love that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I fell in love with man who captures my heart daily. I got out of my comfort zone and lead my house in recruitment. I learned that procrastination is unavoidable and that the best memories are often made in the middle of the night. I have been sweaty, soaked to the bone and frozen solid all in the name of football. I danced for hours in stilettos at many a date party. I have experienced success and failure, heartache and the deepest love, tears of laughter and sorrow... and I have, through it all, been in the loving and forgiving arms of Jesus Christ. 

As I begin to write the last chapter to what I thought was an ending, I realize it is only prologue to the next big adventure in my life, and that greater things are yet to come... 

Taylor